Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
