He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
