I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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