Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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