69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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