just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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