Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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