what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
