Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
