Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
