so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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