She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
