totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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