He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
