I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
