used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
