you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
