ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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