what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
