yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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