You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
