So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize