i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
