a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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