i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
