Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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