Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
