Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
