I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
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Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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