hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
