There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize