She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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