I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize