Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
