the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
