i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
