also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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