he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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