that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
