He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
