You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sorry about my life...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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