When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
