apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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