all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
