First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
