rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize