Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
