My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
