Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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