grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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