I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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