he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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