no. you can't hotbox the world.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
