is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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