i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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