C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
