I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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