no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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