Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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