yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
