How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
