It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
