You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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